TW: This story includes discussions of sexual assault. For support, contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. ⁠

I was physically abused by a teacher at high school when I was 12. He strapped me throughout the year – it was my first and lasting experience of violence.

When my 12 year old son finished Year 6 I suffered a panic attack. It was scary and physical. With some careful self assessment and therapy I realised hidden trauma broke a brittle surface and it emerged 30 years after I’d been abused.

Caring for myself is as important as caring for my own boy. Boys need love and affection. They need physical affection. Violence affects little boys and it affects little girls. Missing the opportunity for a Dad to kiss and cuddle his son is a societal nightmare that unnecessarily hardens the men in our community. 

We need to prepare for an uncertain future. Making compassionate men is a fundamental piece of the success of the human puzzle.

— Ben Quilty