Anxiety is something that has followed me for most of my life and in many shapes and forms. 

I remember the first time that I felt anxious was around the time that I realised that I was gay. My anxiety was mostly linked to social situations, particularly at school.

Every single day of my high school life was riddled with anxiety. I felt like I had to talk a certain way, walk a certain way, act a certain way so no one caught wind of my ‘condition’. 

I was always concerned about not having a girlfriend. Every family gathering I would have similar concerns. Family would probe me on my love life and why I didn’t have a girlfriend. It seemed as though my whole teenage life was consumed by this. 

I felt like I had no ‘safe place’ growing up and no matter where I went I was being judged. My anxiety crippled me. I would get anxiety about my anxiety because I knew how it would affect me if I came into a situation where I felt anxious.

Thankfully, coming out has helped me with my anxiety. I was embraced by all of the important people in my life. The moment I came out it felt as though the world was lifted off my shoulders and I could finally live. My anxiety still exists.. but now it ONLY exists, it doesn’t take over my life and I have learnt how to live with it and how to control it when it surfaces.

— Alfie Arcuri